1. // Where? Why are you asking me?
   private string AppendWhere(string ColName, int Index);
2. // If you’re going to pass back a boolean through an ‘out’ parameter instead
   // of having the function simply return it, then you should indeed get
   // another job…and it should not be coding
   private void GetNextJob(out bool IsActive);
3. // I think that there’s some confusion here between ‘validate’ and ‘analyze’
   public bool AnalyzeData(string);
4. // No, you go ahead and do that without me. As for me, I’m going to keep
   // my appetite intact.
   const FILE* OpenDataSores(string);
5. // You’re right, we needed that function. Good call.
   string CreateTruncateSql(string Table)
   { return “TRUNCATE TABLE ” + sTable; }

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

1. // I prefer shaken, not bubble sorted
   const ABC_ERR_CD AbcParser::Gen007xRecords(…);
2. // You’re more right than you know – this whole project is loco
   const ABC_ERR_CD AbcParser::AppendLocoSubjects(…);
3. // Now, the implementation does check to ensure all digits are
   // greater than zero…but still, between the questionable grammar and the
   // name itself, that’s truly legendary stuff
   bool AbcParser::IsAllDigit(int);
4. // Just get a Brazilian at the salon and get it over with
   const string TrimSpillover(string);
5. // Sometimes the jokes write themselves
   bool AbcParser::DropDump(fileHandle, string);

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

1. // Nothing is more arousing than numbers inside function names
   bool IfBefore01011900ModifyIt(string& dateString);
2. // Could we make this functionality any less generic?
   string SubtractOneDayFromDate(string& sDate);
3. // Looks like it’s time to call Mulder and Scully
   void EncodeFileX2();
4. // Let me tell you about this new member function of the String class
   // called ‘replace’…
   int ReplaceCharacters(targetString, charExisting, charReplacement);
5. // Good thing Mulder and Scully are here. Now arrest that man for crimes
   // against humanity.
   int CreateTransactionSeqForIllegalProcedure(…);

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

1. // Not for any other reason except it’s just a fun thing to do
   const bool OpenReadClose();
2. // I think that you’re only using ‘_’ to make yourself look more important
   // in the eyes of the kernel
   char* Read_Whole_File(name);
3. // Simple and to the point
   void DoEverything();
4. // I’m gonna go out on a limb here…but you probably don’t need
   // a whole function dedicated to that
   int RemoveAllCarriageReturns(line);
5. // Pack your bags…we’re going to Hollywood!
   void Producer_Offer(…);

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

The previous lists can be found here and here.

1. // Apparently we have given up on using enums or arrays
   // or other products of common sense (On a side note…sOriginPoint?!?)
   const string DecodeBoolean(const bool bBoolean)
   {
   string sOriginPoint = (bBoolean) ? “TRUE” : “FALSE”;
   return sOriginPoint;
   }
2. // Whatever excuse is made to justify calling it, the answer is still “no”
   bool EnsureFunctionIsCalled()
   {
   bool bSuccess = true;
   return bSuccess;
   }
3. // I’m lost now, and I need GPS
   void LoadPreLoadMapForPostUnloadProcessStep(…)
4. // Well, yeah, it would only be one of them…but that still doesn’t explain what
   // a return value of ‘True’ means…
   const bool RealErrorOrNotError(string& sMessage)
5. // Personally, I like my programming to be a little more decisive
   void SetIsHashableIsMayBeHashable(string& sIsHashable)

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

The previous list can be found here:

1. NOTE: I don’t think this means what he thinks this means…
   private bool EvaluateSimplePhrase(a, b, c, d, e, f, g)
2. NOTE: Is that possible outside of a trailer park?
   public bool AreChildrenParents(…)
3. NOTE: Shouldn’t that return more than just a bool?
   public bool GetTransactionSeqAndInitialJobCharacteristics(…)
4. NOTE: Sounds illegal, if you ask me
   private int InsertChildrenIntoParents()
5. NOTE: You’re right…an informative message isn’t necessary. Just the ObjectID will do.
   public void LogObjectID(objectID)

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.