The Function Name Hall of Shame: Round Six



  1. // I prefer shaken, not bubble sorted
    const ABC_ERR_CD AbcParser::Gen007xRecords(…);
  2. // You’re more right than you know – this whole project is loco
    const ABC_ERR_CD AbcParser::AppendLocoSubjects(…);
  3. // Now, the implementation does check to ensure all digits are
    // greater than zero…but still, between the questionable grammar and the
    // name itself, that’s truly legendary stuff
    bool AbcParser::IsAllDigit(int);
  4. // Just get a Brazilian at the salon and get it over with
    const string TrimSpillover(string);
  5. // Sometimes the jokes write themselves
    bool AbcParser::DropDump(fileHandle, string);

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

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The Function Name Hall of Shame: Round Five



  1. // Nothing is more arousing than numbers inside function names
    bool IfBefore01011900ModifyIt(string& dateString);
  2. // Could we make this functionality any less generic?
    string SubtractOneDayFromDate(string& sDate);
  3. // Looks like it’s time to call Mulder and Scully
    void EncodeFileX2();
  4. // Let me tell you about this new member function of the String class
    // called ‘replace’…
    int ReplaceCharacters(targetString, charExisting, charReplacement);
  5. // Good thing Mulder and Scully are here. Now arrest that man for crimes
    // against humanity.
    int CreateTransactionSeqForIllegalProcedure(…);

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

Valentine’s Day for Developers



Get that something special for the beloved developer in your life.

  1. For your C# sweetheart: A box of delicious “nugets”. (Important note: any groaning will be interpreted as laughter.)
  2. For your C++ sweetheart: An empty box of condoms, because there’s nothing better than a lack of protection.
  3. For your Java sweetheart: A box of inch-thick condoms, because there’s nothing better than a ridiculous abundance of protection.
  4. For your Swift sweetheart: A set of roleplaying costumes for bedroom fun, including a set of emoticon masks and a dildo in the shape of an upside-down table.
  5. For your PHP sweetheart: A 12-hour package of psychological counseling, in order to deal with the constant ridicule from non-PHP developers.

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.