If politicians are aiming for more kids to code through efforts like Code.org, they’re gonna need to connect with them. And what better way to connect with them than through pop culture?

1. USING CONTAINERS
   
   var DuggarFamily = new List();

   while (DuggarFamily.size() < 19)
   {
   var NewKid = new Person();
   DuggarFamily.Add(NewKid);

   if ((DuggarFamiliy.size() % 3) == 0)
NewKid.getsMolested();
}


2. MANIPULATING “BITS”
   
   int IsMale = 1;
   var BruceJenner = new Person(IsMale);

   if (BruceJenner.Age == 65)
BruceJenner.Male ^= BruceJenner.Male;


3. DEMONSTRATING LOCKS
   
   int nButtSmacks = 0;
   var oChristianGrey = new Person();
   object oAnaSteele = new object();

   lock (oAnaSteele)
{
Monitor.Enter(oAnaSteele);
Interlocked.Add(ref nButtSmacks, 3);
}


4. SWITCH STATEMENTS
   
   int CurrentYear = getCurrentYear();
   string DisneyDirtyGirl = “”;

   switch(CurrentYear)
   {
   case 2007:
   DisneyDirtyGirl = SluttyConversion(“Britney Spears”);
   break;

   case 2013:
   DisneyDirtyGirl = SluttyConversion(“Miley Cyrus”);
   break;

   case 2016:
   DisneyDirtyGirl = SluttyConversion(“Bella Thorne”);
   break;

   default:
DisneyDirtyGirl = SluttyConversion(“Ariel”);
break;
}


Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.