1. Write your code on an archaic typewriter before you scan the pages into actual code files.
2. Develop an algorithm that will autopilot your steam-powered, brass drone.
3. Be super exclusive and only drink old, unopened bottles of Mountain Dew Red.
4. Adorn your cubicle with sultry pictures of a young Grace Hopper.
5. Now that the company is going out of business, purchase your own RadioShack store and live there with the remaining inventory.

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.