1. // Not for any other reason except it’s just a fun thing to do
   const bool OpenReadClose();
2. // I think that you’re only using ‘_’ to make yourself look more important
   // in the eyes of the kernel
   char* Read_Whole_File(name);
3. // Simple and to the point
   void DoEverything();
4. // I’m gonna go out on a limb here…but you probably don’t need
   // a whole function dedicated to that
   int RemoveAllCarriageReturns(line);
5. // Pack your bags…we’re going to Hollywood!
   void Producer_Offer(…);

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.