- For C++ developers: Cite the number of rubber ducks that are destroyed in frustration.
- For Java developers: Claim your processes as hungry dependents that drain you of resources.
- For PHP developers: Submit the total number of used boxes of tissues (for the endless tears as victims of other developers’ taunts).
- For C# developers: If you’ve even spent one moment or penny with the developer program for the Windows App Store, declare that value as a capital loss of your soul.
Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.