Bad Programmer Pickup Lines



  1. How about we improve our performance by wrapping your O() around my logn?
  2. I couldn’t help but notice that we’re ethnically diverse…and I’m all about fast and heavy race conditions.
  3. Girl, you’re so fine…as much as I’d try to hold my lock with you, I couldn’t stop releasing early.
  4. I’ve lost something, and I think that I might find it on you. Mind if I opt for a depth-first search?
  5. Care to swing by my office for a quick examination? I’m designing a new architecture, and I just found the perfect domain model.
  6. With an angelic rackspace like that, you must have just fallen out of the cloud.
  7. I suggest that we go home and remove these masks, so that we can finally see all the bits underneath.
  8. What’s your favorite configuration? Mine is where you’re the master, and I’m your slave.
  9. I can tell you one thing, sweetheart: there isn’t anything generic about your container.
  10. Are you a developer as well as beautiful? Because I’d love to push my code into your repo.

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

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