Cubicle After Hours: Carnal Code and Sultry Script



(Warning: The following is sophomoric tripe that floats around the head of a professional man who should be more mature, but unfortunately, he is not. Discretion is advised. Now put on your best socks…because it’s business time.)

1.) if (open(pants) == CONST_GREENLIGHT) { wang = malloc(full_length); }
2.) bind(partner, &hands, sizeof(hands));

if (listen(partner, backlog) == CONST_SAFEWORD) { exit(CONST_BREAK_FROM_SPANKING); }
else
{
kill(PID_PARTNER_OH_NO_AN_ACCIDENT);
exit(CONST_PANIC_AND_RUN_TO_MEXICO);
}

3.) less talk | more head
4.) CSS_STYLE_ORGY
{
color: #696969;
}

5.) touch /etc/girlfriend &2 > /etc/pink &1 > /etc/stink
6.) Girl oGirlfriend = new Girl();
String strYourPackage = “pride”;

if ((oGirlfriend.show(strYourPackage) && (strYourPackage.length() < 6))
{
oGirlfriend.chuckle();

java.util.zip.Deflater deflater = new java.util.zip.Deflater();
deflater.setInput(strYourPackage.getBytes());

pants.close();
}

7.) function watchJapanesePorn()
{
$(“japanese.man”).hover(function() {
$(“japanese.girl”).squatsClevelandSteamer();
});

$(this).myself.feelShame();
}

8.) Woman oGirlInChangingRoom = new Woman();
Stack oPeepingTom = new Stack();

oPeepingTom.peek();
oPeepingTom.pop();
oGirlInChangingRoom.shriek();
oPeepingTom.clear();

Police oCop = new Police();
oCop.catches(oPeepingTom);

lock(oPeepingTom)
{
List oBigCellmate = new List();
oBigCellmate.insert(oPeepingTom);
}

Peter Bolton is the author of Blowing the Bridge: A Software Story and has also been known to be a grumpy bastard on occasion.

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